With Vivian and Loveth
Life's good, so enjoy it to the fullest, so they say. This is the watchword of innocent teenagers just finding their path in life at college. They are innocent, they are yet to have their first kiss, not to talk having sex. This is more due to the fact that they were highly sheltered and overprotected by their parents as they grew. There normal routine before coming down to college used to be church, school, home, repeat. They had a few dealings with boys and girls though. Here they are, leaving that environment to living entirely by themselves in college. Your guess is
as good as mine. Sex overload, alcohol, endless partying, and all things lewd right? Making choices with their lives is now eminent and a decision they cannot run away from.
But let’s get to the koko of why I’m here. There’s one topic that is very important when one is becoming a young adult; Sex. Majority of these newbies had never for once being introduced to sex education but when they get to their twenties, mum is always interested in getting to know their virginity status and different conversations always accompany this realization because she never initiated it while you were growing up and if you should tell her you are not a virgin, She's definitely going to go haywire. She will always want to know what is going between that young man and yourself. Mum becomes inquisitive all of a sudden.
“This your boyfriend, are you guys having sex?”
“No mum, shebi you said I shouldn’t have sex with another man till I get married so I’m waiting for him to marry me.”
(Loveth, Kenya)
Anyway, a piece of idea will be better. If mum has not taught you sex education, I will advice you teach your self about sex. Majority protect themselves from wanting to be a virgin till they get married so that their soul mate will not see them as a someone whose eye is already opened, (You know the whole “men love naivety and innocence”).
See also: Should girls ask guys out?
I was gobsmack when I heard the perception majority of our newbies that are female have about sex. A few advice though, Sex is not just sex, It has to be somehow dependent on the man. It’s not about you at all; it’s about the man involved.
You think you were made to enjoy sex? Na,na na. Don't subscribe to that fallacy.You’re supposed to be a virgin till marriage, yet young man are having their way all through, having sex with everything that has a hole. If your struggle pays out in the end and you eventually scale the hurdle, your mother and friends will gather to give you advice. They will tell you that your body now belongs to your husband. “How can you deny him sex?” Even though you probably have to prepare food before both of you leave for work in the morning. That is before bathing, clothing, and dropping the kids off at school. So yes, open your legs and just lie down there because it’s his right since he paid a bride price on your head and he(husband) tends not to respect you because you dared to explore your sexuality before becoming his.
You view sex as a favour because someone has informed you that men own the right to enjoy sex. You’re just a means to an end; never an end in itself. So you expect little change in exchange for sex. When I call you a prostitute, you get angry. Why?! You borrow money from your boyfriend and end up getting accused by him after you refuse to pay up. You’ll now get angry and say “what about all the times you’ve f*cked me?” You don’t know that equating your sexuality to monetary value when you are not a sex worker.
"My now boyfriend was first a sex buddy. We would meet every weekend, hang out, have sex, and I would return home. My friend would ask me how much he gave me. How much he gave me? For what? “For sex now!"
(Vivian, Nigeria)
I would say that our generation would be able to right these wrongs concerning our perception of sex but we’re the one who are upholders of these ideals! To the newbies on campus and those that are working on righting their wrongs, change your perspective, change your personality, sex is an end in itself only with the right man and under the right cover(marriage). This is one of the ways we can teach the next generation that sex can be an end in itself?
Photo credit: moacn.com
Life's good, so enjoy it to the fullest, so they say. This is the watchword of innocent teenagers just finding their path in life at college. They are innocent, they are yet to have their first kiss, not to talk having sex. This is more due to the fact that they were highly sheltered and overprotected by their parents as they grew. There normal routine before coming down to college used to be church, school, home, repeat. They had a few dealings with boys and girls though. Here they are, leaving that environment to living entirely by themselves in college. Your guess is
as good as mine. Sex overload, alcohol, endless partying, and all things lewd right? Making choices with their lives is now eminent and a decision they cannot run away from.
But let’s get to the koko of why I’m here. There’s one topic that is very important when one is becoming a young adult; Sex. Majority of these newbies had never for once being introduced to sex education but when they get to their twenties, mum is always interested in getting to know their virginity status and different conversations always accompany this realization because she never initiated it while you were growing up and if you should tell her you are not a virgin, She's definitely going to go haywire. She will always want to know what is going between that young man and yourself. Mum becomes inquisitive all of a sudden.
“This your boyfriend, are you guys having sex?”
“No mum, shebi you said I shouldn’t have sex with another man till I get married so I’m waiting for him to marry me.”
(Loveth, Kenya)
Anyway, a piece of idea will be better. If mum has not taught you sex education, I will advice you teach your self about sex. Majority protect themselves from wanting to be a virgin till they get married so that their soul mate will not see them as a someone whose eye is already opened, (You know the whole “men love naivety and innocence”).
See also: Should girls ask guys out?
I was gobsmack when I heard the perception majority of our newbies that are female have about sex. A few advice though, Sex is not just sex, It has to be somehow dependent on the man. It’s not about you at all; it’s about the man involved.
You think you were made to enjoy sex? Na,na na. Don't subscribe to that fallacy.You’re supposed to be a virgin till marriage, yet young man are having their way all through, having sex with everything that has a hole. If your struggle pays out in the end and you eventually scale the hurdle, your mother and friends will gather to give you advice. They will tell you that your body now belongs to your husband. “How can you deny him sex?” Even though you probably have to prepare food before both of you leave for work in the morning. That is before bathing, clothing, and dropping the kids off at school. So yes, open your legs and just lie down there because it’s his right since he paid a bride price on your head and he(husband) tends not to respect you because you dared to explore your sexuality before becoming his.
You view sex as a favour because someone has informed you that men own the right to enjoy sex. You’re just a means to an end; never an end in itself. So you expect little change in exchange for sex. When I call you a prostitute, you get angry. Why?! You borrow money from your boyfriend and end up getting accused by him after you refuse to pay up. You’ll now get angry and say “what about all the times you’ve f*cked me?” You don’t know that equating your sexuality to monetary value when you are not a sex worker.
"My now boyfriend was first a sex buddy. We would meet every weekend, hang out, have sex, and I would return home. My friend would ask me how much he gave me. How much he gave me? For what? “For sex now!"
(Vivian, Nigeria)
I would say that our generation would be able to right these wrongs concerning our perception of sex but we’re the one who are upholders of these ideals! To the newbies on campus and those that are working on righting their wrongs, change your perspective, change your personality, sex is an end in itself only with the right man and under the right cover(marriage). This is one of the ways we can teach the next generation that sex can be an end in itself?
Photo credit: moacn.com
Let's talk about sex on campus.
Reviewed by Caleb Bresh
on
April 12, 2017
Rating:
Reviewed by Caleb Bresh
on
April 12, 2017
Rating:
